Tag: fire

Allies and Sustainability

I didn’t work with allies, ancestors, spirits in my practice as a witch, until six years ago. They just never came up – when I called them, there was just a nothingness. I believed that was how it was meant to be, for me.

Then six years ago, at an Initiation path at California Witchcamp, they did come up. Four came to me – one I knew, three I’d never seen. And a lot about my practice changed.

I thought these four were bringing me magical practices, shamanic connection – I thought they were about deepening my spiritual practice, particularly my personal spiritual practice. And they were about that; but I realize, looking back, that they came into my life primarily for the purpose of sustainability.

It’s the Pierced One I work with most – a warrior, painted, pierced all over, and strong. The first time we met I think we both thought: what on earth – why would we be allies to each other? I saw why, in time. And I thought this fierce warrior would be all about me becoming more of a warrior, too.

Instead, I think we’ve shifted things for each other. He insists I make time to listen to him. He insists on accompanying me when I go to ritual, or to facilitate ritual. He tells me he is of Fire, and I am of Fire, and he’s here to teach me how to be of Fire in a way that’s grounded. And of late, he tells me: go rest, you’ve done too much. Ground. Breathe, and drink water –

There have been other spirits coming in, most recently a green blood I was aspecting in this year’s Summer Solstice ritual who was coldly furious at me for asking it to come indoors, rather than meeting it in its own realm. “Why are you with all these people?” it asked. “We want you to ourselves, out in the wild.” And I don’t ask for the sacred to speak to me so I can ignore it – so I listened.  I’m backing away from group commitments, and making space for a more personal commitment.

It doesn’t escape me that these allies are showing me a way to transition – at 69 – from the demands of group leadership and facilitation, into something quieter. Something in which my feet are on both sides of the veil, and moving, more and more, toward that far side, in dream and practice. They are caring, and comforting. I told the Pierced One once, after a bad argument with someone I cared about, “I suck at being human! I have too much fire, I always have.” He surprised me (he generally does surprise me) by saying: “You don’t have too much fire for our side of the veil. Bring it over. We welcome it, we welcome you and all you are.”

And that acceptance also feeds my sustainability. I’m grateful to these allies. I don’t think the message they’re bringing me is something I could necessarily hear from a friend or human teacher. I’m exploring, more and more, what they lead me to, what they offer, and seeing where that takes me.

Blessings to us, the witches who walk on both sides of the veil – and learn from both.

Setting Fire to the Mountain: Hekate Dreams

Last night I dreamed of Hekate and She said, “Do it. Set fire to it all.” I’ll be teaching at Tejas camp in October. Hekate is the goddess of the camp, so – our team discussions, and my own work, are opening to Her more and more. I always have a sense of Her physically when I work with Her, but She hasn’t had anything to say to me for a long time. Generally, She just stands still and silent at the crossroads, giving me choices, waiting and watching.

I’d been listening to the song “I See Fire” last night. The song has a different effect on me – it sounds like the beauty of fire, to me. A whole mountain on fire, from the inside – that is something that would be worth seeing, I always think when I hear the song. And then I have my usual doubts that come up with fire – yes, but it’s destructive, yes,  but it gets out of control, it kills, it burns. It burns. If you love fire, as I do, you understand the concept of a two-edged sword.

The other elements get out of control and kill, too. But it’s fire most people seem to think of when they think of “danger” and “element”. But a witch, now – for a witch (for this witch, anyway), that’s just what it is to have power. We have power, we’re dangerous, we could use it badly. And – when power is needed, well, we can use it then, too. The same risks I’m willing to take with fire, I’m willing to take to use power. I do try to use both well.

The mythic feel of the dream is lingering, and I’m wondering what Hekate was telling me. As always, when She speaks to me, it’s brief, to the point. I don’t know what She was telling me, specifically. But I saw the mountain in my dream, when She said “Set fire to it all.” I think She is saying that something big needs to be transformed, and it will be such a change that I might hesitate. And She’s saying: “Don’t hesitate.” A dangerous guideline when you’re messing with fire in a big way. But if the Goddess is going to talk to me, in my experience, it isn’t usually about small things.

So I am on the lookout for what I should set fire to. Reminding myself of the way fire sustains – sustaining us with warmth when we need warmth, sustaining my spirit when my spirit needs warming, or ecstasy. Sustaining my community when transformation is called for. Sustaining sometimes by destruction that leaves room for something new to grow.

And mostly, I’m remembering how clear Her voice was in my dream. How in the dream, I loved that She was there with me. Her time is different – I may find out what she meant soon, or later, or in the next lifetime. But I feel blessed that She’s talking. I want to carry Her spirit into camp with me in October, and Her presence in my dreams tells me She’s good with that.

Blessings of fire to us all, at this, the time of the solstice.